Computer Line

Twelve Days with Windows
by Ben Hanks

On my first day with Windows my computer gave to me
A crash and an hour's lost work

On my second day with Windows my computer gave to me
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my third day with Windows my computer gave to me
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my fourth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my fifth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my sixth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my seventh day with Windows my computer gave to me
Seven migraine headaches
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my eighth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Eight hours calling techies
Seven migraine headaches
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my ninth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Nine butt-ugly icons
Eight hours calling techies
Seven migraine headaches
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my tenth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Ten network failures
Nine butt-ugly icons
Eight hours calling techies
Seven migraine headaches
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my eleventh day with Windows my computer gave to me
Eleven sudden freezes
Ten network failures
Nine butt-ugly icons
Eight hours calling techies
Seven migraine headaches
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

On my twelfth day with Windows my computer gave to me
Twelve instruction manuals
Eleven sudden freezes
Ten network failures
Nine butt-ugly icons
Eight hours calling techies
Seven migrane headaches
Six "alerts" for morons
Five unfixed bugs
Four thrown exceptions
Three runtime errors
Two missing drivers
plus a crash and an hour's lost work

Lovingly dedicated to Bill,
who has affected my life so profoundly in my new job,
where I get to use windows every day.