The Widow's Condo on the Avenues Project

Excerpt from recent chat with President Hinckley:

President Hinckley: "Kathi, long time, no see. How are things with you these days?"

Me: "Well, all is well in Widow Hill Land, but I do miss seeing you at church on Sundays."

President Hinckley: "Our ward has never been the same since you left. You know, I never knew you were a widow! That must be what is missing in our ward!"

Me: "I see your logic, and I would gladly move back up here and be the Ward Widow, but my mites are getting few and far between and I can't afford to live up here anymore."

President Hinckley looked sad for a moment and then a big grin spread across his face.

President Hinckley: "I've got the answer: it's the Widow's Condo on the Avenues Project Fund. We buy a nice condo and keep it just for widows, so that our ward will always have one. Then we find a widow and offer her the place until she dies. What do you think?"

Me: "I think it's a great plan! But how are you going to fund it? I have been working with Kai on the Widow's Travel Fund and he has yet to send me anywhere!"

President Hinckley:"Isn't Kai in ICS?"

Me: "Well, yes he is."

President Hinckley: "Now that seems strange. I know that ICS has buckets of money, and there is no end to what they can fund. Why I have had people in every department at CHQ tell me that they never hesitate to take on new projects, because they will be funded through information systems. It's a given. Their buckets of money are overflowing. It's like the miracle of the loaves and fishes. Why...that's an idea for a Conference talk!"

Me: "But the problem, you see, is getting the money from the buckets into the pots of gold. It just isn't happening...or at least as fast as I would like in the case of the Widow's Travel Fund."

President Hinckley: "I suspect it's Phil Play...that culprit...always fouling things up...but he won't succeed this time. I think that you should be the first widow to die in the new condo on First Avenue. What do you think?"

Me: "I think that's a splendid idea, and the sooner the better."

President Hinckley: "Well, just get Kai to sign on the dotted line and if he has any questions, tell him to give me a ring. It's going to be great having you back in the saddle again!"


I hereby authorize the funding of a condo on First Avenue for the Widow Hill not to exceed the amount of $200,000. (Unless she likes one that costs more, that is.)

Signed: ICS Bucket Controller

I hereby authorize the funding of a trip to England, Ireland, Denmark, Norway and the Big Sur Coast all expenses paid for the Widow Hill. (Plus, of course, spending money.)

Signed: ICS Bucket Controller

Dank you very much!